


Please, Be Enough

by aban_ataashi



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst With A Happy End, F/M, major spoilers for episodes 68-69
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 19:11:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8172718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aban_ataashi/pseuds/aban_ataashi
Summary: For so much of her life, Vex'ahlia has tried to be enough.





	

Vex’ahlia lives in a small house in a small village. The cold season is approaching, so she and Vax and their mother make their way to the market for new coats. Vax has grown- he’s taller than his sister now, which makes him quite happy and her quite annoyed- and his old coat is too short and scrunches up funny when he moves his arms. Vex fits into hers better, but it’s old and worn and not very good at keeping her warm. Their mother’s is even older, with patches running down the sleeves and threads hanging loose at the hem. Vax wanders off in the store, running his fingers over the clothes lined up against the wall, but Vex stays close to their mother. Leaning forward on her tiptoes, she watches as coins are counted over the countertop, and she bites her lip and glances at the storekeeper and hopes.

_Please, be enough._

It’s not. The storekeeper looks at them with pity in his eyes, but only shakes his head. He and Vex’s mother argue for a bit, but to no avail. They leave with only mittens for Vex and Vax, which their mother promises will help them keep warm. She pulls the mittens down over Vax’s ears, which makes Vex giggle, but she still notices that their mother didn’t buy anything for herself.

 

 

Vex’ahlia lives in a mansion in an elven city. It’s a beautiful place, and she hates it. She misses her mother, and her hometown, and the way Vax used to smile. But the twins’ father has decided they need other things. Now they have a big, expensive house, and they are given lessons in history, language, and culture. Vax hates living here as much as she does, and it feels like the city itself hates them back. And yet Vex still tries. She works hard and attends her lessons and tries to find a way to fit into her father’s world. She knows it is hopeless, but she does it anyway because if she can at least do something to make their father proud to have them here maybe it won’t be so bad. She tries and looks to her father and hopes.

_Please, be enough._

It isn’t. Nothing can satisfy her father or anyone else here. Eventually Vex and Vax have both reached their limit, and they leave together on a clear summer night. As Vex turn her back on the city, she pushes away anything that might resemble regret and vows to never think of life there again. She doesn’t need it, and she doesn’t need them. She has her brother, and very soon she has Trinket, and eventually she even has a family of a different sort.

 

 

Vex’ahlia stands in the rubble of the city where she used to live. Though in truth they spent little time here, this was Vox Machina’s home. Only their keep still stands, and they will be leaving that soon. Vex doesn’t want to leave, though she knows they must. Percy reminds her that cities can be rebuilt, and she comforts herself with the thought that one day they will all rebuild their home together. She steps as quietly as she can through the ruined streets, eyes scanning the skies for dragons, one hand on her bow, trying not to think of another place that was destroyed by dragon fire. Yes, they will leave. And they will return. It will not be easy, but these dragons must be killed, and she knows they must be the ones to do it. She thinks of how many times she’s nearly lost the people she loves in the last month alone, how she’s come close to death herself. But they’re all still here, still alive. They are strong and smart and skilled. Vex tightens her grip on the bow and hopes.

_Please, be enough._

It isn’t. Vex screams and screams, but she knows it’s no use. Percy lies at her feet, and it’s wrong, it’s so wrong, Percy should be up and angry and firing his gun next to her. He should be fiddling with some new invention, should be thinking of a dozen different ways to fix this mess. Vex remains by his side as she fires two arrows at Ripley- one to stop her heart and one to silence her screams, for this woman deserves neither while Percy lies so still and silent. But it’s too late for her bow and arrows to do Percy any good. She kneels by Percy’s side and remembers a voice offering protection in exchange for her heart, and she cries.

 

 

Vex’ahlia kneels in the temple of the city in which she is a Baroness. She remembers the day Percy gave her that gift, and she speaks of it as she gently lays stones on his chest. Pike is preparing the ritual, and Vex knows if she doesn’t tell him now she will never tell him anything ever again. The temple is silent as Vex kisses Percy’s lips and offers him her heart. She prays and begs and hopes.

_Please, be enough._

And just this once, it is.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow so Episode 69 was something, huh? I was so terrified that Percy wouldn't come back and a large part of that was I think it would have devestated Vex if after everything she did, she still couldn't bring him back. But he did come back and this is how I choose to celebrate!


End file.
